


Bogus

by bbuckyy



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Coming Out, F slur, Feelings Realization, Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Period-Typical Homophobia, Self-Discovery, gay author, i love my tall boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-19 19:56:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17607947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbuckyy/pseuds/bbuckyy
Summary: Ted had spent quite a while ruminating on the facts that had recently come to light. He found it most difficult to organize his thoughts, even though he knew the fundamentals of his realization. His observations included-He really liked the crop top look on Bill- anything else seemed out of character. That little hint of stomach could brighten up his whole day.-He found it really hard to break eye contact with Bill. Even after the conversation was over and Bill was looking the other way, Ted was staring at Bill’s eyes from behind (or, more accurately, above).-Bill had given Ted a boner on multiple occasions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhhhh i'm kinda new to this fandom so some stuff might be a little ooc, but i love these two!!! also pretty liberal use of the f slur so heads up if you're not comfortable with that! enjoy :-)

Bill and Ted were on their way to Circle K to buy some snacks for band rehearsal with money they both stole from their parents’ respective wallets. They were brainstorming lyrics out loud, holding their loose cash in their hands because neither of them had wallets of their own, and their pockets were already full of guitar picks and gum wrappers and maybe a blunt or two. They were about to get to the chorus of _You’re Super Hot and I’d Love to Tap That_ , when Todd Richards and his gang passed them on the sidewalk. Todd and the rest of their friends were rich; they had cars and big houses and their own wallets. They were also major douchebags.

“...so this fag is staring at my dick in the locker room,” Todd was speaking so loud the entirety of San Dimas could probably hear him, “and he totally had a boner under his boxers, I swear.”

Ted felt his face flush with anger, ready to sucker punch Todd right in his stupid, heinous face. He stared back at Bill and it all melted away, everything except for the red on his cheeks and ears, that stayed for a while.

Five or so hours later, they had jammed for a solid fifteen minutes, not counting warming themselves up with Cheetos and Pop Rocks and Coke Slushies, or the three hours making sure their fingers were loose by playing Super Mario Land and going head-to-head in thumb wars. Bill was staying the night at Ted’s house, both exhausted from their long day of rocking.

It was about 10, and Bill was lying asleep on the carpet beside Ted’s bed. One arm was raised above his head, lifting up his crop top even further, revealing the entirety of Bill’s lower abdomen. Ted rolled restlessly onto his side, facing Bill below him. He stared down at his exposed belly, tight and solid and rolling with muscle. Ted’s heart thumped in his chest and blood rushed to his face as he examined Bill’s restful face. He looked so peaceful, his long eyelashes curling upward toward the blonde mop atop his head, lips spread ever so slightly, revealing perfectly straight, perfectly white teeth. The blood rushed somewhere else. Ted panicked. What the fuck was going on? Ted shot up in his bed, hands pushing down against his crotch, and he ran out of his bedroom into the backyard.

He raised his hands to his forehead, pushing his long hair out of his face, eyes wide in shock and confusion. He bent over and squeezed his eyes shut, willing those thoughts to escape his mind. Thoughts about how soft Bill’s hands looked, and how well they would fit in his own, and how spectacular his eyes looked under the harsh fluorescent lighting of the garage. He stood back up, slamming the heel of his right hand into his forehead over and over again, thinking maybe he could knock those fantasies right out of his brain.

It didn’t work.


	2. Chapter 2

It was decided. Ted was a fag. Ted was a fag and he had a crush on his best friend. It made sense, really. He had never really had an actual crush on a girl before. He just kind of tagged along to Bill’s exploits in discovering the babes of San Dimas. He had been contemplating when, if ever, to tell Bill. Most of these “contemplations” happened when he was home alone, hidden away in his bedroom with only himself and a few Polaroids of Bill.

He got home from school on a day when Deacon was supposed to have soccer practice. His dad, of course, would be working at the station, so he had the house to himself for a few hours.

He was acquainting himself with a particularly flattering photo of Bill, back facing the door when Deacon burst in, halfway through a sentence about borrowing money to go the movies. They both screamed as Ted turned around and dropped the photo, too late for Deacon to not recognize the subject.

“What the fuck?” Deacon had never looked more terrified.

“Get out of my room!” Deacon rushed out, slamming Ted’s door behind him, before a few moments pass and he shut his own down the hall. Ted pulled up his pants and stood up, running his fingers through his hair as he paced in circles around his small room. He opened the door and ran to Deacon’s room.

“You cannot tell Dad.” He opened the door with force, holding a more serious expression than Deacon had ever seen on his older brother’s face.

“How can I not tell Dad? You were just jerking off to a picture of Bill! You’re a faggot!”

“Don’t fucking call me that! Do _not_ call me a faggot.” Ted turned around momentarily, whipping back around a second later, face far more terrified than before. “Do you know what’ll happen if Dad finds out about this? He’ll beat the shit out of me, Deac. And then he’ll send me to Oate’s, or some fucking church camp where they’ll pump electricity into brain until I’m a fucking robot. Do you seriously want that to happen, Deac? Do you want me to be a robot? Would you rather me be a robot than be gay? Huh?”

Deacon was frozen for a moment, looking for the right words to respond with. “Are you actually? Gay?”

Ted took a deep breath. “Yeah, I am. I’m gay.” His voice was shaking with fear. “I’m gay.”

“And you wanna be gay with Bill?”

“Fuck, Deacon. Yeah, fuck it, I guess I do.” He paused. “Why are you home, man?”

“Practice ended early ‘cause Josh broke his arm coming down from a block.” Deacon plopped down onto the edge of his bed.

“You gotta call me when that shit happens, dude. Then I can put all my gay stuff away before you get home”

“Yeah, well I don’t exactly carry a phone around with me wherever I go.” There was silence for a moment. “What are you gonna do about it? About being gay, I mean.”

“I don’t know. I’m thinking of telling Bill, just so he knows. We’ve _never_ kept secrets from each other, dude. I don’t think I wanna start now, ‘specially when it’s something this big.” Ted sat down beside Deacon.

“Really? What if he, I don’t know, like, beats you up or something?”

“I’ll probably have to go the hospital I guess.”

“Oh. Yeah.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey, Dad.” Ted slammed the door behind him a dropped his backpack next to the coat rack.

“Come here, Theodore.”  _ Oh, fuck _ , Ted thought to himself,  _ he “Theodored” me _ . Ted walked cautiously towards his father, home surprisingly early for a Friday. His heart dropped when he saw what was in his dad’s hand. 

“What the  _ hell _ is this, Theodore?” He slammed the spiral notebook down onto the coffee table, exposing the open page where Ted had scribbled nervous speeches. “ ~~_ Hi Bill, so, I know it’s kind of non-excellent, but I think I’m gay _ ~~ ”, “ ~~_ Guess what, dude, Wyld Stallyns is gonna have to start paying attention to Wham! and other gay shit like that cuz I like dudes, dude _ ~~ ”, “ ~~_ So, Bill, I appear to be a homo. Wanna go get Slushies? _ ~~ ”. Ted could feel the blood drain from his face, not daring to look his father in the eye. “Care to explain yourself?”

“Dad, it’s- it’s not what it-” his father cut him off.

Captain Logan picked up the notebook once more and started to recite. “‘Bill, I hate to harsh on the thing we have going with Wyld Stallyns, but I’m gay, and I don’t want you to look at me any differently’. Is this true?” 

“Dad, listen I-”

“I  _ said _ is this true, Theodore? Are you a fag? Are you bringing this into my house?”

“I- ” Ted’s eyes darted, fists clenched at his sides, before he finally made eye contact. “Yes. I’m… gay.”

“I do not  _ ever _ want to see that Preston faggot hanging around you again, do you hear me?”

“Don’t call him that!”

“This isn’t up for debate, Ted!” The air standing between them shook with tension. “You’re leaving for Oate’s at the end of the month.”

“Dad, you can’t just-”

“Go to your room!  _ Now! _ ”

Ted hadn’t noticed Deacon standing in the hallway until he made his way to his bedroom. “Ted, what’s going on?” Ted didn’t let his little brother finish, slamming the door behind him, tears streaming down his face. 

He had packed a bag and snuck out through his window in less than ten minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

Ted rang the Prestons’ doorbell about fifty times before Missy opened the door.

“Where’s Bill?” He was panting after running a mile from his house.

“Oh, he’s just upsta-” Ted pushed past her before she could finish the sentence, hurdling up the stairs, two at a time, before he finally burst into Bill’s room.

Bill was sitting on his bed, textbooks surrounding him, clearly not writing anything on his Algebra worksheet. Clothes were strewn across the floor, as per usual, and Bill’s stereo was blasting Guns ‘N Roses. Today Bill wasn’t wearing a crop top, rather, his signature purple button down, not buttoned at all, tied in a knot around his belly button, sleeves rolled up, with no undershirt to be seen.

“Hey, dude, what’s up? You look pretty gnarly.”

Ted walked quickly to the stereo and shut it off. He swallowed hard, pushing air out of his nostrils, staring at the floor. “My dad’s sending me to military school. At the end of the month.” He looked up at Bill, still sitting on his bed.

“Dude, seriously?”

“Seriously.” Ted slumped down at the foot of Bill’s bed.

“Why, dude?” Bill moved so he was now laying partially on his stomach, propped up on his elbows, leaning over the edge of the bed to look at his best friend. Ted looked over his shoulder at Bill, and suddenly tears sprung up in his eyes. He crumpled his face up, and looked away as a lump formed in his throat.

“This is so _heinous_ , dude.” He sniffled and wiped at his cheeks. “All of this. Seriously. All of everything is so totally bogus, man.” Bill shifted closer to Ted. “I spend so much time being so angry and scared and it fucking _sucks_. I’m so exhausted, Bill.” He looked up at him, eyes and cheeks wet and red, brows upturned and his whole body shaking.

“Dude,” was all Bill could manage to force out.

“Dude. I gotta confess something of a most incredible magnitude.” Bill’s eyes widened in anticipation. “He’s sending me away because, well it’s because he found my, just. Okay, so. Listen. I’m, like. Bill, I am.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before shifting to face Bill head-on. “Bill, I’m gay. I like dudes, dude.” Tears were still streaming down his face, but his eyes had a distinct clarity and contentment in them.

Bill sat up on his knees and Ted turned to face him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from his best friend’s puffy eyes.

“Uhm…”

“Listen, dude,” Ted got up and sat on the foot of the bed beside Bill. “Fucking everywhere I go all I hear is people talking about fags. Remember when we heard Todd Richards talking to his friends about that guy staring at his dick? I got so fucking close to socking him right there.” He sniffled and looked down at his hands. “All the time I hate myself so much. Yknow my dad called me a fag today? He found my notebook where I was planning out how to tell you. I know I’m wrong and he doesn’t have to force himself to not think I’m heinous, but he had to use that fucking _word_. That’s what I call myself all the time. I’m a faggot. And I hate it.” He started to sob as he wiped furiously at his eyes. “So I know that you probably want me out of your life now, so I’m just gonna go pack for-”

Bill grabbed his wrist right as he started to stand up. Ted was staring down into the bluest pair of eyes in this timeline, and they were looking right back up at him, apologetic, almost _pleading_ as he squeezed his wrist even harder.

“Bill, what are you-” Bill pulled him back down and shoved his lips onto Ted’s. His eyes were shut tight, but Ted’s were wide open in surprise, free hand flailing in the air while he was bent over Bill. His mind was suddenly clear: _this is Bill. this is your best friend and he’s kissing you the way you dreamed he would since that night at the sleepover. This is what you want_. He closed his eyes and let himself melt into the kiss. Bill tenderly crept his fingers through Ted’s long hair as he parted his lips and pushed his tongue into Ted’s mouth. Ted gladly complied with Bill’s wordless request and cupped his jaw in his hand, sitting down beside him. He breathed Bill in, memorizing his taste and the way he smelled and how his curls felt in between his fingers.

Ted had to forcefully bring himself back into reality, gently pulling his lips away and opening his eyes to once again gaze into Bill’s.

“Dude,” he whispered, “what the fuck was that?” Bill seemed totally unfazed.

“You looked like you needed it.”

Ted’s face cracked open into a grin and he chuckled. “Yeah, I did.” His face once again grew serious. “Why did you do the rest of it though? The hair and the, the tongue, and…” Ted’s face flushed violently and he trailed off.

“I dunno, man, I just felt like I had to. You were right there, and I just felt like… fuck, dude, I don’t know. I felt like I needed to take all that weight off of you. At first I didn’t even mean to kiss you, Ted, I just wanted you to stay. And then you were right in front of my face and I just went for it. But then I liked it and I wanted to feel your hair so I… did.”

“Is this gonna be like, an actual thing now? This?” Ted motioned vaguely with his hands.

“Sure, dude. Why not?” Bill’s mouth curved into a goofy grin.

“I gotta say, man, that _was_ most excellent.”


End file.
